Til Kingdom Come
by Aubrey Enox
Summary: A mini that happens when I can't think of any other way to explain the changes from 9x03 and 9x04...and what could happen if that couch lead to something else. Title is from Coldplay-Til Kingdom Come (XY, hidden track) They don't belong to me, neither do the Grey's characters. Thanks for listening, thanks for caring.


Considering what's been going on with Callie and Arizona as of late and the fact that I always want to challenge myself, here is my attempt to understand/explain/deal with some of the problems they're facing. Consider it canon with some free writing. Everyone belongs to ABC/Shondaland. Except for Coldplay. They belong to themselves. And Parlophone. And the world.

Title: Til Kingdom Come -Coldplay

Callie quietly padded into the bedroom, carefully opened the drawer that housed her work clothes and bundled them into a ball before quickly crossing the room to the bathroom. She closed it behind her and pressed her back against it, as if she could shut out the sea of sorrow she just crossed through.

Arizona was bundled up in the sheets, the comforter pulled up over her head, the bedside lamp still on. She refused any help from Callie while she stayed in bed and small things like her iPod and phone had fallen on the floor. Whenever she was done crying in the shower, Callie made the mental note to pick them up before she left for work.

Callie turned the shower on and stuck her hand into the steaming water. She changed quietly, slipping in and closing the door. The water beaded down her face and almost instantly, she began crying. She missed Mark. He would've known what to do. He would've had a solution. He probably would've been able to save the leg. She ducked her head under and let the sobs roll through her before she reached for the soap and started washing up.

Arizona hated that Callie snuck into the room the way she did. She could feel her moving around the room, as quiet as she could be open a drawer, slip into the bathroom, and immediately turn the shower on. She was pretty sure Callie turned it on to muffle the sounds of her crying. Arizona wished she could just tell her that she didn't need to do that but at this point, she had gotten so frustrated with her she didn't want to say anything for fear of sounding like she was screaming at her. Maybe she was. She was having a hard time remembering how she spoke to her. She had every right to be angry, to hate the world. Pulling the covers away, Arizona let out a huff. Her iPod and phone lay on the floor, their blank screens collectively staring up at her. Muttering, she pushed the covers down, swung over the edge of the bed and stopped at the sight of her legs. She had forgotten for a moment that she was officially an amputee. Fresh tears welled in her eyes as stared at the top of her left thigh.

Callie dried her hair as best she could in the steamy mirror. She wanted to open the door and let the damp air out but Arizona complained the last time she had. She felt a thin sheen of sweat start to build on her brow as she worked away at her hair. She really didn't care what she looked like. Arizona wasn't around to admire her from a distance or meet up for a quick session in an on-call room. She blew out a gust of air and rolled her shoulders. She wasn't going to be like this. She was going to be better. She was determined to be better. If she was better then Arizona would be better and things would start to get better.

Satisfied with her attempt to look decent, Callie collected her sleepwear and slowly opened the door to the bathroom. She was surprised to see Arizona sitting up, staring at her lap as her leg dangled over the edge of the bed. "Arizona…"

Arizona's head whipped up at the sound of her name, eyes rimmed red, cheeks streaked with tears. "Calliope…" she looked down at the floor at her iPod and phone on the floor. "I forgot…"

Callie immediately rushed over, dropping her things in the process and scooped up the offending electronics. She placed them on the end table and found herself still kneeling in front of Arizona, her hands immediately reaching up to grab Arizona's. "It's ok. I got it."

Arizona nodded absently, watery eyes focused on nothing in particular. "I'm sorry." She whispered, bringing her gaze up to meet Callie's.

Callie rose up and wrapped her arms around Arizona, ignoring how Arizona immediately stiffened at the contact as she held her tight. Arizona's hands worked their way up Callie's back, fingers knotting into the fabric of her shirt as she buried her face into the crook of Callie's neck. "I missed you…" she whispered again, feeling the walls she built out of frustration and anger crumble slowly in Callie's arms.

"I missed you too." Callie replied, kissing the top of Arizona's head. They stood in the silence wrapped up in each other's arms, fingers absently stroking circles, eyes closed, listening to the sound of their hearts pounding. Callie tried to not think about how soon she would need to release Arizona to get to work on time or that Arizona would break the contact first. She tried to enjoy the moment for what it was; her love back in her arms. Callie buried her face into Arizona's hair, inhaling her scent. "I can stay if you want me to."

Arizona wiped at her face with her shirt, red-rimmed eyes holding Callie's gaze. It was now or never. She was trying. Callie really was trying to put up with her stubborn, headstrong, bail when it gets tough mentality. She remembered the advice of her prosthetic's doctor and Alex's stern reminder. _Callie's trying. _Arizona nodded quietly, sniffling as she wiped away tears. "Please…"

Callie's heart melted at the sound and she sat clumsily on the edge of the bed, her hands in her lap. "I'll have to call Derek and let him know that I won't be coming in."

"You don't have to stay long." Arizona replied quietly, still staring at the offending limb. "I know you'd rather be there than here."

Callie's eyes watered again as she stared at the Arizona's hands in her lap, her leg dangling over the edge. "I want to be here. I hate leaving you here." Callie's eyes stayed on Arizona's fingers, her wedding ring glittering in the lamplight. Callie absently twisted her own as she stared at the ring on Arizona's finger. "I don't feel right being away from you."

Arizona stared at the floor. "I'm sorry I keep firing the nurses."

Callie let out a choked laugh. "No you're not." She wiped at her eyes. "I wasn't when I fired mine. I fired a few remember?"

A ghost of a smile tugged at the corners of Arizona's mouth, her gaze still far away. "You made me so mad when you kept doing that. They weren't pushing you enough you said…"

Callie's right hand went up to her sternum, fingers brushing the faint scar as she remembered her road to recovery after the accident. She didn't blame Arizona for that, she didn't blame her for wanting to save her over her Sofia but the risk was worth it. She twisted her wedding ring again, mind wandering as she felt Arizona's hand slip into hers. Tears automatically sprang up as she watched Arizona's fingers interlace with hers. She stared at their hands in her lap, the warmth and weight registering but the experience felt alien. She was afraid to look up, afraid that there would be coldness still in her eyes but she needed to see something other than rage in Arizona's blue eyes. Swallowing, Callie looked up and saw Arizona was staring at her, her usually sharp edges softened, vulnerable. She looked like her old self. "I felt like I needed to better for you. For Sofia." said Callie. "I did what I needed to do to come back."

Arizona nodded absently, her eyes glassy with tears. "I watched you, while you were in therapy. So stubborn."

"A lot like you are now, don't you think?"

The corners of Arizona's mouth tugged up, a smile not quite making it's presence on her face. The moment was fleeting, but it was there and Callie softly squeezed her hand, her heart filled with hope for the first time in months. "I think that's why we're in this situation." she said, still holding Callie's gaze, a flicker of sadness in her eyes. "We're stubborn. You don't like the word no. I don't like the idea of failure."

Callie studied Arizona's face, taking in her features and detailing them. The slope of her nose, the softness of her cheeks, the fullness of her lips and the way her eyes, even ringed with sleeplessness and sadness, were still the same sparkling deep blue. She spent time watching her sleep. She'd pulled the covers down and rested in a chair, watching her sleep. She tended the sutures on her leg and cheek, checked her pulse and brushed her hair out of her face. The only time Callie never felt anger radiating off of Arizona was when she was asleep. It broke her heart to see her the way she was now, angry, a shadow of who she really is.

"What?" Arizona asked, her voice breaking into Callie's thoughts.

"Nothing. I. I just didn't think you'd ever really speak to me."

Arizona blinked back tears, biting her lower lip as she searched for an answer. "I know." she shrugged, her eyes focused on their intertwined fingers. "I'm trying."

"We both are." Callie replied, careful to not upset the moment while feeling the chill in the room. "It's all we have really."

Arizona looked up at Callie, her eyes glassy. "I really don't know what to say…"

"You don't have to say anything. We can just..." Callie shrugged and let out a heavy sigh. "This is enough. This is all I wanted."

Callie watched Arizona through the double doors as she slowly walked between the double bars in the physical therapy room. Dr. Moore smirking as he sat at the other end of the bars. He was saying something encouraging as Arizona paused in the center of the bars, her head bowed low as she stared down at the prosthetic, her hands working along the parallel bars. Despite being only able to see her back, Callie could picture her facial expression; eyebrows knit, her cheeks puffed, eyes closed. She smiled despite herself.

She straightened up, taking another step with her left leg, her hands releasing the bar as she moved slowly forward. Callie felt her heart catch in her throat as she watched Arizona wobble between the bars before she regained her balance and took another step forward. Dr. Moore shot up, pausing at the edge of the bars as Arizona waved him off, determined to finish her walk on her own terms. Callie fought back tears as Arizona completed her walk, pausing at the mirror to study her flushed face in the mirror as David clapped her on the back.

Callie slid into the seat just outside of the door and waited, tears of joy streaking her cheeks.

Arizona emerged from the physio room on her crutches, her bag slung over her shoulder as looked around the waiting room for Callie. Her cheeks pinked at the sight of her in her chair, a small smile on her face. "Hi."

"How was it?"

"Good." She glanced down at the floor, aware of how awkward this was all of a sudden. "I was going to call you…"

"I got out early. Most of my cases are follow ups…" Callie immediately wished she hadn't said it and was afraid Arizona would interpret that as something completely different. She fumbled around for a change in topic, finding that she was unprepared for this shift in their relationship. "How are you liking Dr. Moore?"

Arizona was lost in the moment, watching how shy and unsure Callie was with her words and actions. She'd never seen her so unlike herself and hated that she was the cause of it. "He's good…a bit too…_peppy." _

Callie let out a laugh. "They say that about you too, you know."

"No, they did. Now…" Arizona shrugged. "Now I'm pretty sure word has traveled…"

Callie shook her head. "No, no one knows." She bit her lip, watching Arizona as she balanced on her crutches. "Can I tell you something?"

"Depends on what it is."

Callie swallowed, hoping that she wasn't building up for a let down. "You look really good."

Arizona blushed, ducking her head to stare at the floor. "Thank you."

Callie nodded. "Do you want me to get the wheelchair for you…?" she asked, looking around the hall for one. "It'll take two seconds…"

"No. Thanks. I think I can manage." Arizona turned and lead the way towards the elevators, Callie trailed behind, suppressing a smile.

After dinner, Callie read another chapter to Sofia, watching as she fell asleep clutching the teddy bear Mark bought her. She leaned back in the seat, listening to Arizona as she made her way around the apartment on her crutches, softly cursing at a piece of furniture. Slipping out of the seat, Callie closed the door behind her and found Arizona staring at a plate of cookies that landed on the sofa, a look of frustration etched into her face.

"Are you okay?" Callie asked, rushing over to take the glass of milk Arizona was still clinging to in her right hand. "Let me take this…"

Arizona pulled away, almost falling over in the process. Callie quickly grabbed Arizona around the waist, the glass tumbling to the floor along with the crutches. They balanced awkwardly for a moment, Arizona's arms looping around Callie as they found their footing. Callie held Arizona tightly as she braced her back against the island, waiting for her to steady herself. "Are you okay?" Callie asked again, suddenly aware of how close they were to each other. The last time they were this close, they were in a shower, Callie was crying and Arizona had been yelling at her.

Arizona nodded, steadying herself. "Yes…" she braced herself on her hands against the countertop, releasing her iron grip on Callie as she bent to pick up the crutches. Arizona looked at the disaster area that was now the living room. "I'm sorry…"

Callie waved it off as she held out the crutches. "It's alright. You had the plastic tumbler…I can take care of it." She pulled out one of the bar stools and carefully guided Arizona onto the seat. She picked up the plate and collected the cookies that littered the sofa. "These, are still good to go."

"Don't they violate the 3 second rule?" Arizona mused, watching Callie as she cleaned up.

"Only if they've hit the floor. I've slept on the couch, so I can tell you, it's pretty damn clean." Callie held out the plate stacked with cookies, a smile on her face as she bit into one. "Still good."

Arizona took a cookie, biting into it as Callie set to work with sopping up the spilt milk. She stared down at her amputation, eyeing it as she chewed. She hadn't really looked at it, appreciated what had gone into it until Dr. Moore paused to marvel at how well it healed. She'd seen Callie suffer through her behavior, she watched her push through her pain and loss and still she couldn't believe that this woman was still in the room with her, dealing with her despite Arizona giving her every reason to not stay. It was her or the leg; at one point it had been Callie or the baby. Arizona couldn't imagine her life without Sofia in it and suddenly, she could see that Callie didn't want to imagine life without her in it. Callie was holding out another tumbler of milk, eyeing her as she accepted it.

"I'd really love to know what you're thinking…" Callie whispered, as Arizona took the tumbler, setting down on the counter next to her. Callie's fingers tingled where they made contact with Arizona's.

"I was thinking…they were showing an American Bake-Off marathon…maybe you'd like to…"

"Sure."

*************

Arizona slid into bed easily enough, watching as Callie arranged everything on the nightstand for her to have within reach. "I'll be on the couch, so, you can just, y'know, holler if you need me."

"You're not staying at Mark's?"

Callie shook her head. "I have to stop doing that…it's not good for me to keep staying over there knowing…It's just not healthy." She shrugged. "I'll be right out there if you need me."

Arizona lay in bed, eyes trained on the small gap in the door, the light from the TV illuminating it as Callie continued to watch it. She bunched up the pillows and rolled onto her side, her arm outstretched across the mattress where Callie usually slept in the old bed. She thought about her tone the last few conversations they had. She remembered how she purposely left the white wine out for her with the intention of leaving and probably crying in Mark's apartment for a good portion of the night. Arizona unabashedly watched Callie as she made her way to the other end of the couch, her eyes roaming along her body. Callie still got her, that would never go away but she wasn't sure if she was still someone she could trust again. She closed her eyes, her mind replaying their encounter in the shower. She couldn't get over how broken Callie was, her emotions matching the way Arizona felt exactly.

Arizona snuggled the pillow closer, eyes watering with tears as she thought about how evenly matched she was with Calliope Torres; the good man in the storm and the woman who would wait forever if she asked for it.


End file.
